Cover image for The myth of the spoiled child : challenging the conventional wisdom about children and parenting
Title:
The myth of the spoiled child : challenging the conventional wisdom about children and parenting
Author:
Kohn, Alfie.
ISBN:
9780738217246
Personal Author:
Physical Description:
vii, 268 pages ; 24 cm
Contents:
Permissive parents, coddled kids, and other reliable bogeymen -- Parenting in perspective -- Overstating overparenting -- Getting hit on the head lessons: motivation, failure, and the outrage over participation trophies -- The underlying values: conditionality, scarcity, and deprivation -- The attack on self-esteem -- Why self-discipline is overrated: a closer look at grit, marshmallows, and control from within -- Raising rebels.
Abstract:
"Somehow, a set of deeply conservative assumptions about children -- what they're like and how they should be raised -- have congealed into the conventional wisdom in our society. Parents are accused of being both permissive and overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. Young people, meanwhile, are routinely described as entitled and narcissistic. . . among other unflattering adjectives. In The Myth of the Spoiled Child, Alfie Kohn systematically debunks these beliefs -- not only challenging erroneous factual claims but also exposing the troubling ideology that underlies them. Complaints about pushover parents and coddled kids are hardly new, he shows, and there is no evidence that either phenomenon is especially widespread today -- let alone more common than in previous generations. Moreover, new research reveals that helicopter parenting is quite rare and, surprisingly, may do more good than harm when it does occur. The major threat to healthy child development, Kohn argues, is posed by parenting that is too controlling rather than too indulgent." -- Publisher's description.

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Elmira - Steele Memorial Library 1 649.7 KOH Adult NonFiction Book
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Summary

Summary

Somehow, a set of deeply conservative assumptions about children--what they're like and how they should be raised--have congealed into the conventional wisdom in our society. Parents are accused of being both permissive and overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. Young people, meanwhile, are routinely described as entitled and narcissistic...among other unflattering adjectives.

In The Myth of the Spoiled Child , Alfie Kohn systematically debunks these beliefs--not only challenging erroneous factual claims but also exposing the troubling ideology that underlies them. Complaints about pushover parents and coddled kids are hardly new, he shows, and there is no evidence that either phenomenon is especially widespread today--let alone more common than in previous generations. Moreover, new research reveals that helicopter parenting is quite rare and, surprisingly, may do more good than harm when it does occur. The major threat to healthy child development, John argues, is posed by parenting that is too controlling rather than too indulgent.

With the same lively, contrarian style that marked his influential books about rewards, competition, and education, Kohn relies on a vast collection of social science data, as well as on logic and humor, to challenge assertions that appear with numbing regularity in the popular press. These include claims that young people suffer from inflated self-esteem; that they receive trophies, praise, and As too easily; and that they would benefit from more self-discipline and "grit." These conservative beliefs are often accepted without question, even by people who are politically liberal. Kohn's invitation to reexamine our assumptions is particularly timely, then; his book has the potential to change our culture's conversation about kids and the people who raise them.


Author Notes

Alfie Kohn was described by "Time" as "the country's most outspoken critic of education's fixation on grades & test scores." The author of the influential "No Contest" & "Punished by Rewards," he writes & speaks widely about human behavior, education, & social theory. He lives in Belmont, Massachusetts.

(Bowker Author Biography)


Table of Contents

Introductionp. 1
1 Permissive Parents, Coddled Kids, and Other Reliable Bogeymenp. 9
2 Parenting in Perspectivep. 35
3 Overstating Overparentingp. 51
4 Getting Hit on the Head Lessons: Motivation, Failure, and the Outrage over Participation Trophiesp. 75
5 The Underlying Values: Conditionality, Scarcity, and Deprivationp. 101
6 The Attack on Self-Esteemp. 119
7 Why Self-Discipline Is Overrated: A Closer Look at Grit, Marshmallows, and Control from Withinp. 141
8 Raising Rebelsp. 177
Notesp. 195
Referencesp. 233
Indexp. 261

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