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Horseheads Free Library 1 B HOLLERAN Adult NonFiction Book

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The heartbreaking story of college athlete Madison Holleran, whose life and death by suicide reveal the struggle of young people suffering from mental illness today in this #1 New York Time s Sports and Fitness bestseller

*Instant New York Times Bestseller*

#1 New York Times Monthly Sports and Fitness bestseller

If you scrolled through the Instagram feed of 19-year-old Maddy Holleran, you would see a perfect life: a freshman at an Ivy League school, recruited for the track team, who was also beautiful, popular, and fiercely intelligent. This was a girl who succeeded at everything she tried, and who was only getting started.

But when Maddy began her long-awaited college career, her parents noticed something changed. Previously indefatigable Maddy became withdrawn, and her thoughts centered on how she could change her life. In spite of thousands of hours of practice and study, she contemplated transferring from the school that had once been her dream. When Maddy's dad, Jim, dropped her off for the first day of spring semester, she held him a second longer than usual. That would be the last time Jim would see his daughter.

WHAT MADE MADDY RUN began as a piece that Kate Fagan, a columnist for espnW, wrote about Maddy's life. What started as a profile of a successful young athlete whose life ended in suicide became so much larger when Fagan started to hear from other college athletes also struggling with mental illness. This is the story of Maddy Holleran's life, and her struggle with depression, which also reveals the mounting pressures young people, and college athletes in particular, face to be perfect, especially in an age of relentless connectivity and social media saturation.

Author Notes

Kate Fagan is a columnist and feature writer for espnW, ESPN.com and ESPN The Magazine . She is also a regular panelist on ESPN's Around the Horn and can also be seen on Outside the Lines , First Take and His & Hers . Previously, Fagan spent three seasons covering the 76ers for the Philadelphia Inquirer . She is the author of a memoir, The Reappearing Act, and co-host of the espnW podcast, Free Cookies. Kate lives in Brooklyn, New York with her girlfriend Kathryn Budig, and their two dogs.

Reviews 3

Booklist Review

Why would a 19-year-old academic standout and member of the University of Pennsylvania track team take a running leap from the top floor of a parking garage? It's shocking and heartbreaking. This is an expansion of espnW journalist Kate Fagan's feature on Maddy Holleran, who died by suicide in 2014. With the cooperation of Holleran's family and unfettered access to Maddy's computer and text messages, Fagan sorts through a maze of communication for clues into the life of unfiltered Maddy. She also brings to light mental-health issues affecting college students. It's clear that societal pressures, including a tendency toward perfectionism, played a role, but there's also the insidious presence of social media, creating a false sense of connectivity and validation. Fagan links Maddy's story to her own parallel struggles as a student athlete, but she delineates how their paths differ. This account should provoke dialogue on the pressing problem of teen suicide. Highly recommended for young adults, parents, coaches, student athletes, and all interested in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.--Barrera, Brenda Copyright 2017 Booklist

Publisher's Weekly Review

ESPN columnist Fagan (The Reappearing Act) delves into the haunting story of Maddy Holleran, a track runner at the University of Pennsylvania whose struggles with depression and the pressures of sports culture ended in suicide. The narrative flips back and forth between chapters that recreate Maddy's life and essays on how athletics-especially at the collegiate level-negatively impact the mental health of millions of people. Having struggled with similar issues herself, Fagan is well suited to tackle the underlying problem: student athletes, she argues, are so frequently fed platitudes such as "pain is weakness leaving the body" and face such unrealistic demands that those with mental-health issues become discouraged from seeking help, certain that they're alone. Those bits of analysis, in which Fagan ties together a host of problems facing modern college-bound youth, are the book's strongest points; less helpful are Fagan's frequent attempts to recreate Maddy's thought processes. Nevertheless, Fagan's book is well researched and the message is timely and important. (Aug.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Library Journal Review

Colleges and universities have put greater focus on student mental health in recent years than ever before; however, there continue to be many students who don't get the help they need and end up taking their own lives. ESPN writer Fagan's (The Reappearing Act) book is the story of one of those students. Maddy Holleran was a talented scholar-athlete recruited by multiple universities for soccer and track. She attended the University of Pennsylvania and, to any casual observer, had the perfect life: beautiful, popular, Ivy League student, and playing varsity sports. In reality, Holleran was crumbling under the pressure of maintaining the high standards she had always set for herself, causing her to dread the things she worked so hard to achieve and to contemplate giving up. Fagan writes with personal insight into Holleran's struggles, as she was also a college athlete who found herself hating the life she had dreamed for herself. VERDICT Though the writing is a bit over the top at times, it is impossible not to be affected by Holleran's heart-wrenching story. An appropriate (if difficult) read for current and future college athletes, their coaches, and parents. [See Prepub Alert, 2/27/17.]-Sara Holder, Univ. of Illinois Libs., Champaign © Copyright 2017. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Table of Contents

Alison Overholt
Forewordp. ix
Author's Notep. 3
Chapter 1 Shatteredp. 5
In Real Lifep. 22
Chapter 2 August 23, 2013p. 39
Chapter 3 The Collapsep. 63
Mind, Body, Spiritp. 73
Chapter 4 Vacuump. 92
Active Mindsp. 108
Chapter 5 Just Sleepp. 123
All Alonep. 137
Chapter 6 Size Nothingp. 151
Chapter 7 Snow Fallingp. 168
The Quitting Gamep. 189
Chapter 8 The Meetingp. 204
Dreamscapesp. 232
Chapter 9 The Picturep. 235
Anticipationp. 243
Chapter 10 Spruce and 15thp. 257
The Rules of Suicidep. 279
Chapter 11 Shattered IIp. 290
Acknowledgmentsp. 301
Resourcesp. 303

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