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Penn Yan Public Library 1 362.82 LAM Adult NonFiction Book
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Summary

Summary

"A poignant and necessary book for all women who live in fear in their own homes."
-- Library Journal

A controlling or abusive partner can break even the strongest person--unless you know what to look for. Written by an expert in intimate partner abuse and based on her highly successful recovery program for women with controlling partners, this book will give you the strength, courage, and strategies you need to acknowledge the problem and stand up for yourself once and for all--whether you stay or leave the relationship.

If you have a controlling partner, you aren't alone. Millions of women suffer psychological abuse at the hands of a spouse or intimate partner during some point in their lives, not fully seeing or knowing what is happening to them. Research shows that psychological abuse affects women's overall well-being more than physical abuse, is a bigger contributor to inducing fear, and can be a precursor to violence. To make matters worse, having a controlling partner often results in hidden injuries like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, trauma, and low self-efficacy--feeling like you can't make a difference in your life. So, where can you turn for help?

Based on over a decade of clinical and domestic abuse research, Women with Controlling Partners will help you identify the coercive constraints that can be predictive of intimate partner abuse, recognize the harmful effects of psychological abuse on your mental and physical health, and gain the personal strength and power to break free. Using the author's three-stage recovery model, you'll be empowered to move out of denial, deconstruct what holds you psychologically captive, and take back your life.

Abuse can be devastating, and having a controlling partner can make you feel crazy--and as if you're the one responsible. But you're not crazy, and you're not to blame! With this important, one-of-a-kind recovery process, you'll finally find the clarity of mind, courage, and strength to protect yourself from the hurtful control that damages your mental and physical health, and move toward a safer and happier life.



Author Notes

Carol A. Lambert, MSW, is a psychotherapist and domestic violence expert with decades of clinical experience helping individuals and groups. She is in private practice in Belmont and Concord, MA, and provides domestic violence consultation at the Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital.


Reviews 1

Library Journal Review

Lambert, a psychotherapist with over 30 years of domestic violence expertise, has written a guidebook for women who suspect their boyfriend or spouse's behavior is controlling. She explains in depth components of psychological abuse and how low self-esteem feeds into the pattern beginning with small exploits and continuing with controlling tactics and possible physical harm. Lambert depicts numerous scenarios and repeated behaviors that indicate abuse and affirms readers' rights to be treated with respect. She provides exercises for building strength and countering domineering tactics. A wealth of websites and battered-women hotlines are included in the appendixes. VERDICT A poignant and necessary book for all women who live in fear in their own homes. © Copyright 2016. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.


Table of Contents

Introductionp. 1
1 Control in Relationships Causes Hidden Injuriesp. 9
Stage 1 Become Aware-Recognize the Problem
2 Realize You Need Helpp. 26
3 Take a Close Look at Your Partnerp. 39
4 Overcoming Powerful External Influencesp. 57
Stage 2 Deconstruct What Holds You Captive- Breaking Free
5 Dating: What You Didn't Know About His Behaviorp. 74
6 From Dating to Commitment to Confinementp. 85
7 Resist Falling into the Cycle of Abusep. 93
8 See How Life Becomes "All About Him"p. 114
9 Take Back Your Strengthsp. 128
10 Threats and Physical and Sexual Violencep. 142
11 Recognize Your Injuries from Abusep. 159
Stage 3 Reclaim Yourself-Only You Know What's Best for You
12 Change Beliefs to Feel Strongerp. 178
13 Empower Yourself-Take Back Your Lifep. 189
14 Moving Forward-What Do You Want?p. 199
Acknowledgmentsp. 215
Resourcesp. 217
Referencesp. 223

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